Time. The great equalizer. The eternal constant. A constant novelty. A complexity that is nothing more than the concept developed by humans to better understand the constant passing of the moment from future to current to memory.I tend to take time for granted, like so many others. But lately, I’ve found my self thinking about it a lot.
A lot has been written about time. I think its safe to say that a lot more will be written about time. Time moves and we have to move with it, there is no turning back. We learn lessons from history but we can’t repeat it. We’ve never done any particular thing before, ever, it’s always new no matter how many times we have done something similar.
Aaron and Lily just turned one! Well, Aaron turned one a month ago and Lily a week ago but we celebrated their birthday this past weekend (last time we do that – we promise each their own party from now on). I cannot believe its been a whole year! Memory can be just as funny as time itself. It really does feel like just days ago that we were rushing to the NICU to meet Aaron or Alyse was flying up to NJ to meet Lily. Then, the weeks and months that followed of little tiny human beings and one small but not tiny human being demanding all sorts of attention. As an aside, Aaron and Lily are lucky to have possibly one of the best big brothers I’ve ever seen – definitely better than me!
New life is incredible. Our children have such possibility its incredible. Everything is completely new to them; everything is exciting and fun (well, most things). Its an important reminder to us who have seen more to remember this novelty and not take it for granted around them. I think its very important to try to see the world through eyes of children. For them and for ourselves. First time seeing the beach, the waves, feeling the ocean, seeing the birds, and the list goes on. Parenthood is so much richer when we can ride the way of ecstasy experienced by our little ones as they meet the world for the first time.
On the other hand, the end of life is heart wrenching. No matter your beliefs in the afterlife and what happens upon our exit left from this world, the feeling of loss is like no other. We recently said goodbye to Alyse’s wonderful grandmother, Berta, and there are no words for the shock, pain, and sadness at her passing and our loss. She was an amazing woman who lived to be an incredible 90 years old! She loved her children, grandchildren, and her great grandchildren and spent so much time investing in the lives of others. She cared deeply to be a part of her great-grandchildren’s lives and we are so very grateful for all of the effort she put into that. Learning new tools like Facebook Portal or navigating social media sites for pictures is not always so easy for someone who grew up in a different paradigm but she kept at it. Simply cherish every moment and opportunity you have with those you love. All of our time is valuable and time we spend with others even more because its so much more limited than we realize.
Wait but Why had an excellent piece (as usual) recently on time and its well worth the time. In it, Tim lays out, visually, how much time we have and, spoiler alert, its less time than you think! Think ahead to a life time of 90 and its feel very, very long from our current perspective. But think about it in terms of summers or holidays or football seasons and it suddenly seems a lot shorter! As a reminder to myself, no matter how many times we visit Long Beach Island in NJ each summer, each time is unique and each time is special. Its important to constantly remind ourselves of the need to take life as a novelty and not as familiar. It simply not nor will it even be the same or even predictable.
The arches of history may be understood through eras and eras inevitably end. No matter how much we want to cling to a certain paradigm or a certain understanding of the world, time moves on. The Queen is dead, long live the King. Queen Elizabeth II was an institution in and of herself, even apart from the monarchy. She met 15 British Prime Ministers, 14 US Presidents. She was the only Queen known to so many in the twentieth century. But even she knew her time would end and so London Bridge was put in place to prepare for the day that she would no longer sit on the throne. She and the kingdom knew that eras end but too often we live and act like life will always go on predictably and forever.
There is joy in time. You can savor each doing of anything, not just because it may be your last but because each doing is its own unique event. I was struck by an Instagram post I saw recently from @ohwowmomentsmamas that mentioned their son’s “third summer.” So straightforwardly true, but yet its another way to celebrate time. It was not just the summer or their son’s summer but an institution in and of itself.
Anticipation is valuable. It allows us to stretch our imaginations and consider how we want things to be, after all, nothing goes wrong in a day dream. Memories are valuable as we can process out what actually happened. Good becomes fond memories but even bad can become stories, jokes, or anecdotes (see AJR for reference). The present moment is all we really have and this is a reminder to cherish it. Its more than not taking it for granted but knowing that this moment is unique and to spend it as wisely as you can and help others spend their moments well.
Time grinds on but it provides new even as the current passes into the old.